Microsoft won’t have to fire Ballmer. He’s retiring

Still crazy, after all these years

A lot of speculation has been floating around lately, about whether Steve Ballmer would be fired from Microsoft due to the recent Windows 8 and Surface fiascos being the last straw.  Well, the wondering can end.  Big B is gonna retire within a year.

There’s been a bit of an…  “aww we’re gonna miss him” reaction popping up.  The kind of reaction that happens with professional comedians when a particularly fruitful source of comedic material drops from the scene – sayyy… Like our last president.

Monkey Boy’s antics are well known in tech.  But to see them sprawled out like this, like roadkill on the freeway, causes one to get whiplash and headaches from the head shaking and eye rolling that it summons.

Here’s a few round ups of the greatest (saddest) Ballmer moments:

• From PC World, Steve Ballmer’s wackiest, craziest, downright funniest moments at Microsoft
• From All Things D, Beyond Monkey Boy: It’s a Steve Ballmer Quote-Tacular!

And from MacWorld’s The Macalope:

“That’s right, you won’t have his sweaty butt to kick around anymore. While the company starts the process of searching for a new captain of what is, if not the Titanic in mid-sink, then at least the Carnival Triumph…”

“There’s no chance that the iPhone is going to get any significant market share. No chance.”

“In every category Apple competes, it’s the low-volume player, except in tablets.”

Apparently he can’t do math either.

And there’s sooooooo much more.  You’ll have to read them all yourself.  They’re just too funny to miss.